Finding Freedom

A Heart Love Revived

aheartloverevived2My symptoms presented themselves in a slow and steady pace. I really did not understand where the exhaustion was coming from or why I was experiencing such extreme fatigue. My full time job of running our family home and caring for our children can be demanding when my husband’s medical job calls on him at all hours of the day and night. Endless errands, carpool schedules, after school activities, homework, and dinner plans tend to dictate my day. It’s a messy, fun, and unpredictable job. I can’t imagine my life any differently but very much like a physician, we, as mothers, can also be “on call” 24 hours a day.

As the stress, fatigue, and confusion continued to build, I also began to feel very unproductive as a wife and mother. My much-loved job was becoming overwhelming. I tried getting more sleep, taking relaxing baths, and spending more time in the Word, but my mind seemed so distracted and unfocused. I was becoming very forgetful, and even simple daily tasks became overwhelming to think about.   Sadly nothing in my own efforts nothing was helping. It was time to seek answers to ending this lingering fatigue that was keeping me from being the person I desired to be for my family.

The White Coat Syndrome

I did as any modern day, self-sufficient, multitasking mother would do; I took matters into my own hands. After all, there are so many resources available for us today. Why waste time seeking help when we can search online at WebMD for numerous medical issue answers or pick up any magazine in the check out lane of the grocery store to find out what the latest health and diet trends are to improve fatigue and get a better nights sleep? Also one must not forget to mention the endless self-help books, blogs, and trendy online community forums that are just a click or download away.

After convincing myself that I was just in a rut and not doing my family any favors by slacking on my job, I decided a little more discipline in my life might be helpful. So I began exercising harder, eating cleaner, and taking stronger doses of vitamins to help combat the fatigue.

I tried….

Getting more sleep at night

yet never woke up feeling refreshed

Eating healthier and cleaner

yet didn’t feel nourished, filled or energized

Exercising faster, farther, and harder on the treadmill

yet was running in the same place and going no where

Answers, however, were not coming in my own attempts; therefore, the next steps were unavoidable. It was time to seek out the care of a knowledgeable medical provider, which let’s face it, is not always our favorite thing to do.

In our busy and demanding lives it can be a challenge to stop, pick up the phone, and make that appointment to visit our doctors. After all, that is another thing to add to the to-do list, and it might interfere or take away from another already perfectly planned activity for the day. Schedules may need to be rearranged; there may be possible and unexpected follow-ups, endless waiting, tests, and of course the biggest fear of all, the need for surgery. Isn’t it amazing that just the thought of a hospital or visualizing the inside of a doctor’s office can quite often send our blood pressure right through the roof? That, nevertheless, is exactly where we need to go for healing?

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We start to wonder about all the unknowns and what-ifs that may present themselves.

What if this is something more….

 What if I have been doing something wrong….

 What if this is just a symptom of a much greater problem…..

 We become fearful of the unknown.

We begin to humbly realize that we are truly at the mercy of the man in the “White Coat” who is getting ready to walk through the exam room door to meet us and examine us from the inside out. Submitting ourselves to the care of someone else can be so difficult. Placing our faith in someone else and their abilities can be even more challenging.

We feel fragile.

 We feel scared.

 Exposure and vulnerability can be so uncomfortable.

While waiting in the exam room, we secretly look around the room searching for the Physician’s credentials on the walls obviously trying to find comfort in the fact that he is truly skilled to do his job and will do it well. We may even give ourselves a little pep talk, reminding ourselves of the commitment the provider made upon reciting the Doctor’s Oath, which is a promise to the patient from the physician to preserve life and do no harm. This oath signifies that your doctor has all his credentials, he is a specialist, he is skilled in the art of healing and relieving pain, he promotes, maintains and restores human health, and when needed treats disease, injury or deformity by operating or cutting of body tissue.

When we know we can put our trust in our Doctor and his skills, our fears lessen.

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As the Physician walks through the door to meet you, He throughly washes his hands. He is wearing his spotless white coat and greets you ever so gently with a compassionate smile. By looking at him you can tell he is a busy man, has a demanding job, and most likely has many patients to see. But he is with you right then and there in the exam room, and you have his full attention. A sense of relief washes over you upon realizing that you are in strong, capable hands. Consequently, you begin to open up and share your concerns. He listens to your complaints, understands your pains, and after the examination he shares with you how together in his care, he will treat your symptoms. He even takes the time to kindly assure you how easily symptoms, just like yours, can present themselves by the lifestyle choices we make.

A new sense of hope may come over you hearing there is a reason for these symptoms yet, as happened with me, there may also be a bigger, weightier understanding that surgery is the only option, and a long-term lifestyle change would need to be made. With my consent, a detailed care plan was being constructed, and next steps with my Physician were already being scheduled.

I exhaled in relief submitting to the care of my doctor because I was truly grateful that I wasn’t alone anymore, and help was on the way. I was tired of being tired and thankful to finally submit to his care and plan for me. After all, he is the expert, not me.

aheartloverevived2

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When we decide to step out of our comfort zones and take that leap of faith to seek help in other places, the best exam room to be in is with our Heavenly Father, who is our eternal Healer and Creator. There is no wound He cannot repair. There is no surgery He cannot perform, and He never tires of His work.   He is the architect of our bodies, souls, mind and spirit. From His breath we were created, and in His image and out of His perfect love we came to be. He delights in each and every single one of His masterpieces, and we are beautifully and wonderfully made.

My Sovereign Physician

He presented the need for change

Revealed to me the decay that needed to be extracted

Determined the date of the surgery

Required I sign the waiver releasing all my rights to him, trusting in his care plan

Brought me to His table

Totally exposed, He opened my heart

Ever so precisely, He extracted the diseased parts

Then upon completion, He sealed me closed

It was not up to me in my own strength and efforts to be the one trying to fix and extract my own brokenness. We cannot perform surgery on our own bodies. We must trust in the care of a knowledgeable and skillful surgeon who has been specifically trained to do the very precise work to absolute perfection each and every time surgery is required. And when we come to the table for surgery, we don’t just bring our diseased parts, but we bring our entire bodies to the table and He is the one that removes the disease one piece at a time. It is only through His hands and on His table that true healing comes.

For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen! Romans 11:36

From my nest to yours,

Chris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “A Heart Love Revived

  1. As someone who has put the white coat on myself many times, I found your post both thought provoking and challenging. It reminded me to continue putting my health in God’s and competent physicians hands, an important reminder as I go to a follow up appointment today following a miscarriage a month ago. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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